The Sherlock Holmes Fanclub
by ShapeShifter15
Summary: Every year, Sherlockians and fangirls from around the world gather for a yearly conference. Every year, Sherlock Holmes, every incarnation, must hide in order to escape the fangirls' clutches. Only one has succeeded. Sadly, it isn't Sherlock, or John, or Mycroft. Yes they are here too. carnation/Version.EVER. Three shot.
1. Chapter 1

The Sherlock Holmes fan club

Sherlock didn't know how he got here. No seriously, he had no idea.

"Come on!" the girl pulling his arm said, "we're going to be late and I am not going to miss this meeting because of you!"

Of all the fans he had encountered this one was by far the strangest. For one, she only was interested because he was Sherlock Holmes. She was interested in the idea of him. The cab dropped them off in front of a large building. There were four people waiting for them outside. Sherlock groaned.

"I thought you say that only Sherlock Holmes was allowed," he told the girl.

"Shut up, Sherlock," the girl, Sarah, said as she greeted her friends.

One, the African American, Cindy, was handcuffed to John. A Hispanic girl had handcuffed herself to Mycroft. Neither man was happy, but Sherlock surmised they had learned quickly to not escape their kidnapper's clutches.

"Kidnapped as well?" Mycroft asked.

His hand was handcuffed to the Hispanic girl who was talking quickly. She was careful to not tug on Mycroft's arm less incite his anger. Mycroft didn't seem pleased to be there. He cast a glare at the girl when she moved her arm suddenly. She sent him an apologetic grin and the promise of food later.

"Do you think they got him?" Jessica, the Hispanic, asked as she walked into the building.

"I hope so," Cindy said, "he's really hard to catch you know. The last one failed."

"But we sent a Deathstroke fan after him," Sarah said, "Those are the best trackers. No way had they failed. Hurry up John! God you guys are so slow!"

John Watson sighed and quickened his pace. Sherlock didn't bother studying the fangirls who led them into an elegant room. It was filled with many people, most, usually the men, where wearing a deerstalker or holding a pipe. Their kidnappers were mostly teenage girls. They all seemed to be excited about something.

A woman of about twenty called for their attention. She seemed to be in charged.

"Everyone!" she said. Everyone quieted down. The woman started jumping up and down, "HE'S HERE!"

**I'll let you guess who the mystery guest is. **

**He is famous for playing Sherlock Holmes.**


	2. Chapter 2

"now," the woman said trying to hold her excitement, "he won't be ready for another hour, so please try to be patient, but we caught him!"

The room was filled with squeals at the announcement. The basil Rathbone Sherlock Holmes was hugged tightly by the girl next to him as she jumped up and down happily. He seemed very uncomfortable and pried off the girl. A man with tan skin seemed to seethe in jealousy as his captor fainted. He had curly hair and was dressed in Victorian clothes.

"now why don't I get that reaction, Watson?" he asked his companion.

"because the fangirl with the original Sherlock Holmes said you were a wanna be," Watson said as he drank some wine offered to him by a waiter.

"but why?" he asked.

"because, mister Holmes," a tall man said, "you were created by an American director and you resemble that iron man bloke."

RDJ Holmes harrumphed and crossed his arms.

He was the only one amongst the Sherlocks to not be handcuffed. In fact, it weren't for the girl that was keeping a close watch on him, one would think he came here out of his own free will. He was probably the tallest amongst his companions and excessively lean. His gray eyes were sharp and piercing as they scanned the room quickly, and his thin hawk-like nose gave his whole expression an air of alertness and decision. His chin, too, had the prominence and squareness which mark a man of determination. His hands were invariably blotted with ink and stained with chemicals, yet he had an extraordinary delicate touch.

Jessica started hyperventilating as the man headed towards them. He studied the group of six and held out his hand to Sherlock.

"Sherlock Holmes the first," he said, "you must be the Moffat and Gatiss Holmes. It is a pleasure to meet a man who shares more of a likeness to me in the modern world."

"Sherlock, please," Sherlock said shaking his hand.

"Mycroft, hold me, I think I'm going to faint," Jessica said as she leaned on Mycroft.

"if only," Mycroft muttered.

"and you must be John Watson and Mycroft," Holmes said as he also shook their hands, "a pleasure."

Mycroft gave him a tight smile while John was more polite. Holmes lightly kissed the knuckles of the fangirls who swooned. Their captives looked annoyed as they had to pick them up and revive them.

The group separated and started to mingle with the other guests. Sherlock couldn't spend five minutes before getting into a fight with his modern counterpart. The fangirls had uncuffed them and let them mingle with the rest.

"Sherlock," the tall man said with disdain.

"Holmes," Sherlock said with equal dislike.

"psychopath."

"_high functioning sociopath," _Sherlock corrected.

"narcissist."

"drug addict."

"at least I get along with my brother."

"at least I am a better representation of Sherlock Holmes."

"at least I am not mistaken for a homosexual."

"I have no interests in romantic relationships."

"at least I am more aware of people."

"I faked my death splendidly."

"I don't take my friends for granted."

"are you saying I take my friends for granted?"

"I don't know. you tell me."

Sherlock's eyes narrowed, "at least my show has more fans than yours."

"fans that are mostly johnlock fans."

"my creators are British."

"are you saying there's something wrong with American directors?"

"yes I am."

"why are we arguing?" _without a clue_ Holmes said, "everyone knows that I am the most liked."

"shut up!" they both said at the same time.

"alright you three," a Watson said, "break it up. we don't want another fight like last time, now do we?"

Sherlock walked away, head held high as he headed to the refreshment stand. The door opened and a fangirl with a black cloaked man wearing a black mask poked her head in.

"excuse me, mister Holmes," she asked. Sherlock turned to her, "would you know where the POTO meeting is? We got kind of lost."

"fourth floor," Sherlock replied.

"thank you," she said, "come on Erik! And don't you dare chicken out on me."

"Erik does not chicken out," the man said, "he merely dislikes being around others."

John was conversing with Joan and the original John Watson. They were all sharing the similarities and differences between their charges. Mycroft was talking to his original counterpart and were sharing stories about their little brothers. Sherlock took a sip of his wine and turned his attention to the stage.

"every one!" she said, "can you all please take a seat?"

Every one took a seat in the tables. The fangirls took a seat next to their captives. they were all bursting with anticipation.

"now, as you all know," the woman said, "the Sherlock Holmes conference is held every year in the Fangirl United Nations headquarters. Every year, fangirls from around the world bring their favorite versions of Sherlock Holmes. We've had many younger versions of Sherlock Holmes. Can these please stand up and tell us your respective versions and creator?"

A teenage Sherlock Holmes stood, "_A young Sherlock Holmes _by Barry Levinson "

A Jewish boy stood as well, "Young Sherlock Holmes Andy Lane."

Another stood as well, "The Boy Sherlock Holmes Shane Peacock."

A girl stood. She greatly resembled the Holmes brothers, "the Enola Holmes mysteries by Nancy Springer."

Another girl stood, "_the adventures of Shirley Holmes."_

"That's your great granddaughter, Mycroft," Jess whispered as she elbowed him.

The woman thanked them, "now, we have many Sherlock's among us. let us start with the first ever screen adaption, _Sherlock Holmes Baffled_. Then we have the movie _Sherlock Holmes_ by Goldwyn pictures. There are many movies that are derived by Conan Doyle's stories. Perhaps the most notable Holmes of his generation is Basil Rathbone in _The Hound of the Baskervilles._ We've had movies were Holmes's and Watson's roles are reversed such as in _without a clue."_

The respective Holmes was currently a little tipsy. His Watson rubbed his temple as he wondered if hell would provide more comfort than being with his companion.

:"we've had adaptations for children as well," the woman said "may Sherlock Holmes from _Sherlock Holmes and the 22__nd__ century_ please stand up?"

A blonde Sherlock Holmes stood. He wore a brown inverness and deerstalker.

"Sheerluck Holmes from veggie tales?"

A cucumber sitting next to a tomato also stood.

"Sherlock Holmes from Batman the brave and the bold?"

He stood as well. his manner and arrogance seemed to place Sherlock's to shame.

"now most of these are from the twentieth century," the woman said, "and trust me there are more where those came from. _They could be giants _is one of my favorites. Now in the twenty first century, we have the guy Ritchie adaptation, _Sherlock Holmes _and the sequel_ Sherlock Holmes a game of shadows._ Now this one has gotten much controversy since it strays from the traditional cold calculating machine that Sherlock Holmes is. He has a romantic relationship with the woman, and Laurie R. King's adaptation where Sherlock marries a woman half his age."

The comment caused many outbursts of protest and anger from the many Sherlocks present. The woman waited until they quieted down.

"to each their own," she said, "we've had _Sherlock Holmes _made by Rachel Goldenberg who make Holmes and Watson seem like monster slayers. And then we've had the more modernized and contemporary Sherlock Holmes. Two of which are present today. Elementary has gotten mixed reviews from fans and critics alike. Most have been positive as they provide a fresh view of Sherlock Holmes though some weren't all too happy that Watson was gender switched with Joan Watson. Of course, those purists who prefer a true to the stories Sherlock Holmes will find themselves drawn to Sherlock. Sherlock is responsible for bringing back Mister Holmes to the modern world. The rise of the sale of the Sherlock Holmes books have risen greatly and men have adopted his look. Mister Sherlock Holmes, could you please stand?"

Sherlock stood and was met by many cheers and claps from his fellow versions. The woman had him come forward.

"I, Yolanda, grant you William Sherlock Scott Holmes the greatest award to be ever given to a Sherlock Holmes. Mister Holmes the first and I have agreed that you are perhaps the greatest version of Sherlock Holmes. I grant you the Award for Best interpretation. As mister Holmes would tell you, this award has only been awarded two times before you. once to Rathbone's Holmes and the other to our guest of honor."

"and who is that?" Sherlock asked as he took the plaque.

The woman smiled and turned to the audience, "ladies and gentlemen, I present you, our guest of honor: Sherlock Holmes as presented by Jeremy Brett!"


End file.
